A Part of All or a Part of None?

International and multicultural students are part of so many cultures and places yet may not feel like they truly belong to any of them. You become a part of so many communities all over the world that you do not know which one is truly yours. All the countries, cultures, and experiences can create a mosaic of identity—yet one cannot help but ask: Is this mosaic fragmented?

This struggle can be seen in two ways: as a multicultural person and as an international student. For some, it becomes compounded. As a multicultural person, you can feel as though you are not enough of either culture. Say one parent is from Italy, and the other is from Canada. You, however, grew up in Germany. Growing up, you experience all three cultures. When asked, “Where are you from?” you hesitate.

Maybe you say Germany because you grew up there. But you grew up with Canadian and Italian cultures and traditions. Yet, you never lived there. So maybe you aren’t Italian or Canadian enough. But you don’t feel German enough, either. You speak English, German, and Italian, but maybe German isn’t your preferred tongue. Does that make you less German? Wait, so what even are you?

I grew up in a multicultural household, half Greek and half Spanish. But I grew up in Washington, D.C., with an American passport.

Yet, I don’t identify or feel “American” (nor would I want to in this context). I never say “I am American”; I opt for I’m half Greek, half Spanish. I also went to an international school.

Then, I did a semester abroad in Spain, connecting further with my Spanish culture. And then I got a Spanish passport. I speak three languages, and now I live in France, learning a fourth. In the future, I hope to work around the world.

I had never felt American, Spanish, or Greek enough, let alone French. I had not realized this until I was sitting at Société Générale opening a bank account when I gave my two passports to the employee assisting me. He looked at me and said something along the lines of, “You have an American passport. Yet also a Spanish one. And you’re speaking Greek with your mom and living in France.” I said yes. He then, quite bluntly, asked, “So what are you?” and I actually did not have a response.

A passport is certainly not representative of your identity. Or maybe it is? I was also once told I wasn’t Spanish enough because I did not have a DNI, which is another form of identification that countries such as Spain give to their citizens. What about my Greek heritage? I have no identification stating I am Greek, yet I grew up with Greek myths, traveling to the islands, surrounded by Greek family and friends. Our identity clearly is not linked to a document, yet it feels as though it has no ground to stand on without one.

This identity crisis may not seem that significant. You can choose to introduce yourself, however, by saying you’re half Canadian, half German, or simply saying you are American because you have an American passport. And for many people, a passport can simply be a tool to cut the long lines at airports when entering and exiting countries. But for any multicultural student, this collection of cultures and countries is a key part of who they are. Honestly, it’s more difficult to navigate than it seems.

You can struggle enough with your identity living in one place and deciding to study there and work there. But what about international students? Say, then, you decide to go live abroad, either for university or for work. Let’s say you move to France. You learn French, live in France, adopt cultural practices, and maybe live there long enough to vote in local elections. International students have all of these steps and mixed identities compounded. In many ways, having so many parts to an identity can make you feel as though you are losing it.

According to an article published in the journal Current Research in Behavioral Sciences, an increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad for higher education. Yet they face challenges such as language barriers, homesickness, culture shock, discrimination, social isolation, and loneliness. There is a link to stigma and fear of judgment, adaptation, acculturation difficulties (a lack of belonging), and communication barriers.

When studying abroad, you then go visit home and family. But is it home? Is home the place you grew up, or the country in which you are now studying? You return to a home that is not really a home anymore. As McGinn says, maybe you’ve left them all now. International students often face both culture and reverse culture shock. You adjust to a host country and then revert to the values of your original country.

As Ariane Vigna wrote about her international student experience, “Sometimes, I don’t feel like I get the best of both worlds. I feel like I get half of each world, and I’m left wanting more. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not truly a foreigner everywhere I go.”

International and multicultural students are built of shards of all their countries. Half-and-half. Quarters and quarters. Maybe eighths and eighths. While it is an immense privilege to be composed of so many parts and places, whenever you just want to rely on one solid foundation of yourself and who you are, you may be stuck reaching for pieces.

Feeling like you do not belong to one place can be remedied through embracing new cultures, friendships, career opportunities, and exploration. You can have friends in all corners of the world, memories, and experiences. You become a global individual, a part of so many communities that you can call yours.

Sometimes, it’s hard to not know “what you are,” and if you are ever asked that and find yourself unsure or balking at the answer, you are not alone. You are most definitely not alone. You have support from all your countries, all your cultures, and all the places you’ve lived, worked, and studied. Your identity may sometimes feel lonely if not uncertain, but you never really are. Many people, places, and cultures will always provide different glues to help you fix your identity mosaic.